Saturday, March 20, 2010

saturdays are for dreamers

 (spring)

at some point during the dark morning hours i had my recurring grandpa dream.  i first had it back in july.  and i've had similar dreams since but very rarely.  once in st thomas.  but i think this is the second or third dream this week.  where i run up to him and we hug and it's like i'm holding on to him to save my life.  last night the dream was the same only he was crying too.  see, i am always crying.  and he is always reassuring me.  calming me.  but last night he cried too.  and i woke up almost immediately as i had been crying, not only in my dream but also, in my sleep.  it wasn't like the first time.  when i cried and cried and cried.  it was very small.  a whimper.  and i tried to rush back to sleep, to dream him again, but it was gone.  three times this week.  what i am pretending it means is that he is with me, helping us to conceive the child we will name after him.  or perhaps i just need his comforting so much, my subconscious is obsessed.  there is not enough money in the world to pay what i would to hug my grandpa one more time.  it was one of the most loving feelings i will ever know.

(right now, sammy is sleeping on his back with his tongue hanging out of his mouth.  hilarious.  just a minute ago, he was having some sort of fabulous dream, making funny little noises with all of his paws flailing.)

i don't know what the rest of the day holds for us.  the weather is beautiful.  it really feels like spring now.  everything is a fresh green color.  new.

what are you doing this saturday?  one of my favorite etsy shops, studio mela, is having a fantabulous sale.  shelli is so super nice and talented i can't help but spread the word.  i've got my eye on this one.  and this one.  to stow away until it has a purpose.  because i am trying my best to be hopeful.  right in this moment, anyway.

1 Comments:

Blogger Suzanne said...

Oh, em... I had an old-friend dream this morning, which was different than the usual--in a very sad way. Do we every let go?

April 4, 2010 3:12 AM  

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