what does it mean to be driven up a wall?
i admit that it's my phrase of choice when it comes to family. for example, my mother is always driving me up some kind of wall or another. but i can't visualize it. like i'm cowering in the ceiling corner? i dunno. all i know is that it happens. and it has all kinds of side-effects like...scowling, loud sighing, and eye-rolling.
good grief does that woman make me want to roll my eyes.
my mom is many things. she is a fighter. in a good way. she is a hard worker. she used to be quite the artist and reader and she even sang in a choir. she has battled jra since she was three. she has (probably) battled depression my whole life. she raised both me and my sister all by herself. and i was not an easy child. and my sister is not an easy adult. so...not the sunniest of lives my mom has led.
certainly not the easiest by any measure.
as of late (oh, who am i kidding??), i mean, forever, she has been a drama queen. everything is a big deal. everything might just be the worst possible scenario. everything is worth three weeks of fretting. it's exhausting.
like, sure i got a great deal on tree-trimming but is the guy gonna hack the trees back too far? i don't know. i'm considering it a learning experience. it's like...if i'm not worried about it, why would you be? i'm freakin 29! and it's just trees! lordy, lady, can't we just have a simple conversation??
she is also very needy.
earlier i mentioned stopping by target and was there anything i could get her? perhaps i should have mentioned that i was just stopping by target and not planning a vacation stay. because holy goodness did that woman come up with everything she could think of for me to get.
i wanted to say, look lady, i'm going to get noxema and that's it, but i didn't have the heart. i still can't figure out how to say no to her and not feel terribly.
perhaps because she raised me. even though i was a pain in the ass.
ugh. seems what had gone around has come around. just as they said it would..
good grief does that woman make me want to roll my eyes.
my mom is many things. she is a fighter. in a good way. she is a hard worker. she used to be quite the artist and reader and she even sang in a choir. she has battled jra since she was three. she has (probably) battled depression my whole life. she raised both me and my sister all by herself. and i was not an easy child. and my sister is not an easy adult. so...not the sunniest of lives my mom has led.
certainly not the easiest by any measure.
as of late (oh, who am i kidding??), i mean, forever, she has been a drama queen. everything is a big deal. everything might just be the worst possible scenario. everything is worth three weeks of fretting. it's exhausting.
like, sure i got a great deal on tree-trimming but is the guy gonna hack the trees back too far? i don't know. i'm considering it a learning experience. it's like...if i'm not worried about it, why would you be? i'm freakin 29! and it's just trees! lordy, lady, can't we just have a simple conversation??
she is also very needy.
earlier i mentioned stopping by target and was there anything i could get her? perhaps i should have mentioned that i was just stopping by target and not planning a vacation stay. because holy goodness did that woman come up with everything she could think of for me to get.
i wanted to say, look lady, i'm going to get noxema and that's it, but i didn't have the heart. i still can't figure out how to say no to her and not feel terribly.
perhaps because she raised me. even though i was a pain in the ass.
ugh. seems what had gone around has come around. just as they said it would..
posted by emily b. at
12:22 PM
7 Comments:
When I think of being driven UP a wall....i think of a person first backed into a corner....and when you're cornered, you have two options...go through that which is cornering you....or...go up and out! Humans go up walls...think of a prison break....being behind the wall....being driven so mad by your boundaries, that you start "climbing the walls"....
Last night, I drove my MOTHER up the wall! lol talk about role reversal! I'll tell you about that another time....
Now, as for your mother....From what I can tell about you, you are quite the dutiful daughter....is it out of guilt for your pain in the ass ways of the past? or is it just your nature to be responsible in this way?
Dear EmilyB...I was the biggest pain in the ass as a teen/child....my mom hated my guts.....but my mom doesn't ask me to get her groceries for her....but then again, my mom is totally capable of taking care of herself so she doesn't need me to. Your mom's a different story...due to her set backs in her health.
Tough one...I really don't know what you should do! OH SO HELPFUL OF ME RIGHT?! You're like, "heather, what's the point of this comment?" you are aren't you!? lol
Sorry darling...still luv me anyway? :P
You can pick your friends, you can't pick your family....and i believe that our families are the tools god puts in our lives to make us into who we NEED to be in the future...they are our guides, our lessons, our stumbling blocks....they are our best friends, and worst enemies..and we are genetically linked to them for a BIG reason, even if we don't always know what that reason is. Someday you will.
I've really seen the purpose of my abusive dad....I've seen how HE made me into a BETTER person....a more loving person....He beat the crap outta me....and I know exactly what purpose that made in my life....my mom freaking didn't like me until i was like 20! And I know exactly what that rocky relationship taught me!
You're just being groomed for your future....
that's my take on it.
this concludes this mindless mumbojumbo. Thank you and goodnight! :>*
~hl~
best line:
and i was not an easy child. and my sister is not an easy adult.
loved this. we all feel a bit of it, but it will crush me when my girlies three feel it with me. ugh.
hl - my mantra, on the hardest days, is "this is preparing me for my future." i know that my mom's needs will be much like my future children's needs. and also different. and in some ways incomparable. but also alike. do i do it out of guilt? probably a little bit. but also because i know if she's asking for something it's because she needs it and would do/get it herself it she could. but she can't drive and hasn't been into any type of store/public place in over 7 years. so, there aren't a lot of options. and i know that. but i'm feeling taxed lately. (no pun intended since i work for a cpa! oh, goodness..) i'd say it is because i'm a taker-carer of people. i pride myself on taking good care of people. and so i cannot turn down a request from my mom. just sometimes all of her needs build up and it's just too much. i have a self to take care of. and a husb. and there are a lot of days i can't take care of all of us. (oy!)
and i will take all of your mumbojumbo and never never need there to be a point, haha! duh! :)
love ya,
em
karey m - impossible! if they ever feel that way, you send them to me and i will tell them how i wish their mom would adopt me because i think she is so freakin cool :) and i don't know if that would change their minds but..it should! :)
xo, em
Your mom sounds a lot like mine. Isn't it weird what we notice as adults? I often feel as if I'm the mother and she is the child, despite what an amazing woman she is.
april - thank you for this. it really comforted me this morning :) that role reversal, that's exactly what i'm feeling and i'm realizing that that's what my biggest problem is. i want her to be different and she can't be. she's who she is. but i'd much rather mother my own child...than my mother. i know you understand :)
xo, em
mother/daughter relationships once the child is grown might be the most complex in all the world. i really believe this. my mom is one of my best friends and yet in a second she can drive me to drink.
i love how you remarked that you were a difficult child and your sister is a difficult adult. i laughed out loud because, OH MY WORD, this is EXACTLY how my sister and i are!
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