patron saint of mylar balloons and bubbly handwriting: post-edit
i never had a boyfriend in high school. this may be the saddest fact of my life. or it may just seem to have been the saddest fact of my life for four, formidable years. (what does formidable mean?) ok, no, formative. i meant 'formative' years. and there were four of them. and sure i had friends and all of that. but never the hand-holding. is your heart broken yet? *sigh*
every valentine's day they had balloon grams. or candy grams. or something grams and you could pay a buck and send your friend or more-than-friend said balloon, candy, something and it came with a colorful card and they'd interrupt class to deliver them. four years of wanting someone to want to send me a balloon. but isn't high school incredibly lonely in some ways?
i've been thinking about this all week, in response to ben's what's your take on valentine's day question. it's probably much like my take on christmas in that it's more about making up for past disappointments than present need. like...christmas always got screwed up when i was a kid. my parents would fight or my dad would be weird or etc and the day would be a bust. and valentine's day...most of my valentine's days have been spent alone wishing for a valentine. some have been spent not alone, pre-ben, and wishing for a valentine that felt more like...the one. that is possibly worse than being alone. feeling alone.
so now i have a valentine each and every year. and i kind of want to make the most of it. because i know how it feels to be all kinds of alone. and i am grateful every day that i don't feel that way anymore.
i hope you and you and you have a wonderful weekend whether it involves hearts or not. i hope you have sunshine and marshmallows and pretty scenery. if it so warrants, i hope you have a hand to hold. even if it's your pet's little paw. or your grandma's soft and wrinkly hand. or your own. sometimes you have to hold your own hand...
if we were in class, i'd drop little enveloped valentines into your shoeboxes. you're tops. bee mine. i choo-choo-choose you.
xoxoxo
*card from hello lucky...seriously...i cannot stop laughing at that hotdog...
post-edit:
just after i wrote this, i went out to the car to begin my errand running for uj's birthday lunch. and. i looked across the street at my old high school and there were a group of guys and girls, in tuxes and red dresses, carrying pink white & red balloons, about to deliver them to someone's boyfriend and someone's girlfriend. and i laughed a little bit. and then i remembered the exact feeling of sitting in those carpeted classrooms. attached desks&chairs. i felt old and young all at the same time...
but what a coinkydink, right?
every valentine's day they had balloon grams. or candy grams. or something grams and you could pay a buck and send your friend or more-than-friend said balloon, candy, something and it came with a colorful card and they'd interrupt class to deliver them. four years of wanting someone to want to send me a balloon. but isn't high school incredibly lonely in some ways?
i've been thinking about this all week, in response to ben's what's your take on valentine's day question. it's probably much like my take on christmas in that it's more about making up for past disappointments than present need. like...christmas always got screwed up when i was a kid. my parents would fight or my dad would be weird or etc and the day would be a bust. and valentine's day...most of my valentine's days have been spent alone wishing for a valentine. some have been spent not alone, pre-ben, and wishing for a valentine that felt more like...the one. that is possibly worse than being alone. feeling alone.
so now i have a valentine each and every year. and i kind of want to make the most of it. because i know how it feels to be all kinds of alone. and i am grateful every day that i don't feel that way anymore.
i hope you and you and you have a wonderful weekend whether it involves hearts or not. i hope you have sunshine and marshmallows and pretty scenery. if it so warrants, i hope you have a hand to hold. even if it's your pet's little paw. or your grandma's soft and wrinkly hand. or your own. sometimes you have to hold your own hand...
if we were in class, i'd drop little enveloped valentines into your shoeboxes. you're tops. bee mine. i choo-choo-choose you.
xoxoxo
*card from hello lucky...seriously...i cannot stop laughing at that hotdog...
post-edit:
just after i wrote this, i went out to the car to begin my errand running for uj's birthday lunch. and. i looked across the street at my old high school and there were a group of guys and girls, in tuxes and red dresses, carrying pink white & red balloons, about to deliver them to someone's boyfriend and someone's girlfriend. and i laughed a little bit. and then i remembered the exact feeling of sitting in those carpeted classrooms. attached desks&chairs. i felt old and young all at the same time...
but what a coinkydink, right?
posted by emily b. at
11:00 AM
3 Comments:
Emily ~ you and me....were very much the same in High School....I never had a bf either. I had boys that i liked....but no real relationships to speak of. And my first love MFJ moved to Minnesota....and mostly i pinned my formative years away wishing and praying he'd come back.
Every Valentines day, I'd do like you, look around at everyone's balloons, flowers....new jewelery....blah, blah, blah and I'd think to myself, I wonder why I am never one of those girls, one of those girls who's got a better half? How is it, that the entire world is in love, except me...and that kid that picks his nose and eats it at lunch?? This year, no exception.....except the kid that picked his nose is married now...spending Valentines day with his wife and 3 kids.....two dogs and one hamster.
I remember one year, my mom dropped off a little bouquet of carnations at the front office for me on Valentines day....and they brought them to me in class....and when they said, "heather, these are for you!"...I nearly died of shock....WHO WOULD of been sending ME something?!??!
Sure, I could of told everyone they were from some hot mysterious boy from another school....and not from my mooooooom, but it was one of the nicest things MY MOM ever did for me....so I was proud to say that my mom loved me on valentines day.
Yesterday was no exception, she bought me fuzzy socks, and chocolate...and a card that said how wonderful I was. Maybe Valentines day isn't for lovers, but just for love.
xoxo
~hl~
Is there anything more tragic than a cute girl with no boyfriends in high school? I would know, I never had any. Not a one. I had my boyfriends in Jr. High and College. I got my first kiss two days after graduation. It's heartbreaking, huh. I hope you have a wonderful Valentine's Day. It's on a Sunday! Who thought of that?
hl - where have you been all my life?! i think we would have been fabulous friends in hs, even if we were boyfriendless. and i like that last statement. wish i'd thought of it much earlier in my life. that valentine's day isn't for lovers, but just for love. doesn't that make it seem much simpler and less lonely? i like that. and sometimes moms are the best valentines of all. because, usually, they have loved and will love you forever. your mom sounds adorable :)
nat - i'm pretty sure weekend valentine's days are the best. there is no being exhausted after a work day. exhaustion seems to always have the last word over romance. hope you and the holbs have a lovey day. and no hs boyfriends for you? that shocked me. because, i'm pretty sure you were super cute. me, eh. not so cute. thank goodness it kicked in finally, my cuteness that is...even if it was post-hs, hahaha :)
love you girls!!
xo, em
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