everybody's talking about the moon
and i saw it. first. it was gorgeous. full. filled to bursting. i saw it on my drive home from work. and watched it a tad more than i watched the road. and wanted a picture of it so badly. surrounded by wispy clouds, coating everything in it's dull yellow glow. i wanted to pull the car over and write, "the moon is a poem. the perfect poem." but i didn't. only i just did right now.
lately the moon, even half-full, has been incredibly bright. at night our backyard looks like it's got a spotlight hovering over. the shadows of our plants play among grass blades. it's really magical. surreal. orion, our steady protector, stands guard just south and east of us. and all of the stars around him contrast so beautifully against that black sky. and all because of that big bright moon.
balance.
my mom has been full of telling me what to do, how to do it, when and why. i never feel more my age than when my mom asks me if i'll wash my hands before i make her lunch. because i want to smack her. at the same time, i never feel more like that angsty teenager than in the same moments. because i want to yell don't tell me what to do! (ma, i'm 29. please.) but i don't smack her or yell. just turn away and roll my eyes. wash my hands.
i think i'm feeling claustrophobic lately. in the last couple of weeks our remaining weekends have completely filled up. and weeknights are SO useless. the past couple of days i've been getting up early to do dishes. laundry. things i couldn't bribe my body to do the night before. our house is a nightmare (before christmas? how fitting!). lately, hours seem much more like minutes. especially after 5pm. days at work are sloooooow. which i like and simultaneously dislike. it's quiet. but i remain unmotivated to do the gritty work that waits until quiet weeks like this. the re-filing. the archiving. the climbing on ladders. carrying bankers boxes.
i am all words today, instead.
the other night, before sleep, i started writing a poem in my head. about our usual morning routine (read: when i don't get up an hour early). it seemed lovely. i almost turned over, switched the light and wrote it out but thought (so foolishly) nah, i'll remember. and i do remember the gist of it. but... not the same. those words came so easy with my eyes closed.
and just like that, it's december.
lately the moon, even half-full, has been incredibly bright. at night our backyard looks like it's got a spotlight hovering over. the shadows of our plants play among grass blades. it's really magical. surreal. orion, our steady protector, stands guard just south and east of us. and all of the stars around him contrast so beautifully against that black sky. and all because of that big bright moon.
balance.
my mom has been full of telling me what to do, how to do it, when and why. i never feel more my age than when my mom asks me if i'll wash my hands before i make her lunch. because i want to smack her. at the same time, i never feel more like that angsty teenager than in the same moments. because i want to yell don't tell me what to do! (ma, i'm 29. please.) but i don't smack her or yell. just turn away and roll my eyes. wash my hands.
i think i'm feeling claustrophobic lately. in the last couple of weeks our remaining weekends have completely filled up. and weeknights are SO useless. the past couple of days i've been getting up early to do dishes. laundry. things i couldn't bribe my body to do the night before. our house is a nightmare (before christmas? how fitting!). lately, hours seem much more like minutes. especially after 5pm. days at work are sloooooow. which i like and simultaneously dislike. it's quiet. but i remain unmotivated to do the gritty work that waits until quiet weeks like this. the re-filing. the archiving. the climbing on ladders. carrying bankers boxes.
i am all words today, instead.
the other night, before sleep, i started writing a poem in my head. about our usual morning routine (read: when i don't get up an hour early). it seemed lovely. i almost turned over, switched the light and wrote it out but thought (so foolishly) nah, i'll remember. and i do remember the gist of it. but... not the same. those words came so easy with my eyes closed.
and just like that, it's december.
posted by emily b. at
2:16 PM
1 Comments:
That was me this morning, I had words in my head before i even opened my eyes...I frantically jumped out of bed to write...
those visions so vivid from our dreams, those poetic phrases that come to us as we drive home after a long day at work, they never sound as good, when we force ourselves to remember them. I know exactly what you mean.
Welcome to December! ho, ho, ho... :)
btw, on a side note, did you know my initials are HO. DO you have any idea what it's like growing up with HO as initials? :)
~hl~
{www.hoscorners.blogspot.com}
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