the sound of the breeze like music through a sieve

lately everything's just goin goin goin. right now ben is packing for his first of three trips to chicago. in the truest of truths, i wish he weren't going. but he's really looking forward to a long weekend with his friend. so what's a girl to do.

i've been a bit of a mess lately, going through my grandparents' photos and missing them both so much in such different ways. i wish against all logic that my grandpa was still alive and that same wishing part of me wishes my grandma didn't have dementia. how things are always changing. how little love really changes anything when it comes down to it. (see? a mess, i tell you.)

and there are other things. goals that seem unreachable. or impossible.

i almost feel like someone dumped a bucket of tears over my head. i feel like there is a liquid weight i can't quite get out from under. not to mention i hate being alone. even on my best days. so, i'm a bit nervous about the upcoming 5 days that i will be ben-less. i mean, i know i'll be ok. don't worry, fair readers :)

in chipperier news, i was the recepient of an early birthday present this week and (finally!) got to be rid of my razr! it was goodbye flip-phone, hello iphone...my guy knew just what i wanted for my birthday this year and wanted me to have it in time for his trip so we could chat chat chat at our leisure :) so far, it's nothing but fun! i've even got a free poetry app that's kind of like magnetic poetry. very very fun...

i guess that's about it. i'm surrounded by clean, laid-out laundry that is begging to be hung. the washer just cycled off and i can hear the dryer begging to do it's job. seems there is a lot of begging going around this place. and, again, what's a girl to do but oblige.

oblige oblige oblige.