what today holds

i'm driving behind a car this morning and the license plate frame reads:

happiness is lawn bowling

so true, right?

it also happens that i'm listening to ray lamontagne on my way to work this morning.

he is so freakin groovy. i feel it impossible to listen to his music and not feel like my soul is made up of sunshine. groovy sunshine.

also on my playlist this morning was phoenix's single 'lisztomania.'

i am in love.

i have allowed myself no amount of playcount shame today. i listened to lisztomania three whole times on my way home. (i think this is a huge step in my recovery process.)

also, i got a ridiculously painful papercut today. ok, make that a manilafoldercut. on. my. fingerTIP. have you ever had a papercut ache? BUT. that's not the important part. (don't tell my finger that i said that.) when ben got home i showed him the damage and gave my best dramatic re-enactment. again, not the important part. here it is: he didn't scoff or make fun of me. he acted as if my tiny little cut mattered. even though he knew i was being silly. and melodramatic.

THAT was the important part.

an.y.who

what tomorrow holds...

seder. i am a bit nonplussed about the whole thing. no, i don't think nonplussed was the right word there...

it is hard to go through the motions when there is no connection. no real desire for a connection. i don't know. it's like, why are we sitting around starving and sipping wine for 3 hours (ok, it just feels like 3 hours) and saying the same things we said last year? and the year before. and... i don't know. does anyone really feel deep down like they connect with what's being said? like they have any inkling of an idea what slavery is like? oh, i know i know some people do. i just...feel nothing. (insert song from 'chorus line.') i guess i will focus on my favorite part which is where we all say, 'next year in jerusalem.' i try to work that line in all year round so when it's passover, and like official, i snicker a bit.

hey baby, i had so much fun on our date tonight...next year in jerusalem.

you get the idea.

and, if i'm lucky, i'll get to hold my husband's hand under the table. that is always my favorite part.

bar none.