decisions and dilemmas

today at 5 it was over. three and a half months culminating into an ocean's eleven type of exit. only there were 3 of us. and we hadn't just made off with a bunch of cash. and...

well, that could go on forever.

but on the way out, uj (my boss) says, "you should take tomorrow off. or at least take time off to have lunch with ben. relax."

he said this because earlier in the day i told him i wanted to work tomorrow. the day after the 15th is always the quietest and most peaceful day of the year. all of the ravenous, animal-like clients are satiated. the phone doesn't ring. the door doesn't buzz. it's the best kind of day to catch up on everything that has been pushed aside.

he also knows i've been a bit of a stress-case lately. i have been known to answer questions with a brash tone. known to eye-roll. and sigh. my light at the end of the tunnel was going into work on thursday to an empty office. just me against the accounting world. "watch out bank statements, i am going to reconcile you like nobody's business!!"

but.

then i found out that i would not be at work alone.

because, of course, my sister would be coming in.

to do what? i really don't know. chat. or something else meaningless and totally worth her hourly wage. hmph.

so now i don't know what to do. if i go into work, (on the one hand, if you will) i have the potential to get a lot of work done. work that i have less than two weeks to get done. BUT. and it's a big but. like the biggest. on the other hand, i will be so angry for most of the day just at the mere sight of said sister that it will paralyze my brain. because she is there earning money for doing nothing.

how do i know this?

welcome to my everyday.

so i have told myself that if i stay home i could get so much done around the house. things i've wanted to do but never had the time. like put dishes away. and make cards. and write poems. but (a little bit of a smaller but) i could also, very easily, sit slumpily in bed all day and turn into a zombie.

if i work, maybe i can buy myself some fun things on etsy.

but if i don't work, then i can be a normal happy person for a whole day.

and yet, if i work, i will be depleting my 'inbox,' if you will. (since i don't really have an inbox. at all.)

therefore, and in part, if i don't work, i can have the kind of day off that would give me the energy and excitement that would make me want to be at work badly enough to ignore my sister's terrible work ethic.

see?

i could do this all day. actually, i have been doing this all day. to work or not to work. i've got quite an extensive monologue going...

and yet i'm pretty sure i'll go in tomorrow. mostly because ben can't take the day off with me. if he could, this would be a no-brainer. alas. i will plan on compromising. i will sleep in a bit. pet the boys without feeling like i have to rush out the door. do i dare plan to straighten my hair?

oh, i mustn't.