already the juxtaposition

i like to create a january 1st, each year, that will set the tone for how the rest of the year will go. i refuse to be stressed. or spend the day working.

this year i slept. and relaxed. and felt not even one ounce of stress in my being. it was miraculous. and something i have needed for a while now. just being quiet and cozy. shacked up all day with my husb and our boys.

today, i went into work. i had taken the day off but couldn't, in good conscience, avoid the work that should have been finished up by the end of the year. so, i went to work. and, after some routine screwiness, got my work done. i decided that i am at the point where when something goes wrong at work, it doesn't even phase me. if it goes right, then i am almost brought to tears with sheer joy.

so work went and i thought, today isn't too bad. much better than my last day at work. (read: god's laughter...)

but apparently my grandma is sick. which means my mom is worrying. and calling me a bunch. and over-planning. etc. i will go and see my grand right after i write this. there isn't much i can do but sit with her and hopefully make her smile.

ben and i saw her for hanukkah and we had a chance to sit around and talk for a while. it was really nice. at one point she looked at me and said, "you and i have something special." and it's true. i think i said it before in her birthday post but i'm pretty sure my grandma loves me more than anyone else on the earth. and if my grandpa were still alive, i would come second only to him. and i am absolutely fine with that :)

hasn't this post taken a weird turn?

such is my day. all of a sudden it's hectic and stressful and overwhelming. and i'd be remiss (or just plain stupid) if i didn't suspect that most of this inability to cope was some kind of hormonal joke. yes i believe hormones have their own senses of humor. don't you?? it would explain so much...

anyway, here is to the day calming down a bit. i'll definitely drink to that.