god's laughter is ringing in my ears

when i get to work today, the water cooler has overheated. or something. the entire unit is hot. the sparkletts bottle on top of the unit is partially full of scalding hot water. everything is hot.

so my plan is to open the pressure valve and see if something is stopping up the unit, causing it to overheat, then replace the valve and go about my day.

i know. sounds like i know what i'm talking about. and sounds like i'm some kind of awesome handy-girl.

alas.

for some reason i didn't equate the fact that every part of the water COOLER is scalding hot with the fact that the water that would come spouting out of the valve might also, just maybe, be scalding as well.

SO.

the water comes pouring out. like frickin a million degrees. i can't get the valve plug back in because it is too hot.

SO.

i attempt to unplug the unit. of course, do i dry my hands or make sure i'm not standing in a puddle of water? NO. why would i do a silly thing like that??

SO.

i get electrocuted. enough to make my finger buzz but not enough to do any damage of any sort except to my dwindling self-esteem that i can fix something as silly as a water cooler.

SO.

i ask my co-worker to unplug it. which she does. and the water gets less hot. and eventually stops. of course, i have already dropped the valve plug thingy into the scalding water. TWICE. oh, of course i fished it out the first time. AND OF COURSE i didn't put it anywhere where it couldn't drop into the bucket of water.

SO.

finally, i get the plug in. the valve closed. a little of my dignity back.

and then i cried a little.

actually, i cried a very little when i first got electrocuted because...well, because it is

FREAKIN SCARY!!!

and then i cried afterwards. just a teensy bit. because, god help me, there was nothing else i could do.

so goodbye 2008. with all of your year-ending electronics/appliances failures, attempting to send me to the nut house.

don't let the door hit you on the way out...

goodbye 2008...you flew by a bit too quickly...

i cannot believe it is going to be next year, tomorrow.

i cannot believe this.

i also can't believe that i am up at this ungodly hour and it is causing me to think things like, "why does 7:19 exist?? what is its point?"

i guess its point is to allow quiet time for me to catch y'all up on the past 10 days...if i can remember all of the highlights...

i am going to try :)

first and foremost, colts win. and not just any win. a 23-0 win. AWESOME!!! and they will be playing san diego next saturday. so you know where we'll be from about 5:00 on. i hope the colts play like a winning team and don't just hand it over to the chargers...but this season...i never quite know which team is showing up to the game. i will wear my jersey. regardless.

also, there were holidays abound. abound, i say!! christmas eve saw us baking cookies with ben's mom and dave. it was a bit hectic and rushed (nobody cookie-cuttered except for melissa) but we cranked out a boatload of cookies. and i mean literally a boatload. we loaded up a boat and melissa and dave sailed away.

ok. so not 'literally'...

then they left and ben and i could have our christmas. which i like to do on xmas eve because the next day is always crammed with going to my mom's and going to his aunt's. SO, it was awesome. i got a bunch of cute clothes (he is a way better shopper for me than i am...how is this possible?? because he is a gem, ladies. an absolute gem.) and the gift of all gifts was a photo book ben made for me. it was full of pictures of us (mostly close-ups taken from an arm's length away) from the last 5 1/2 years. it was amazing to see how we've changed together. how young we looked back then! and to remember all of the places those pictures were taken, each a beautiful memory. it was a gift that could not be topped.

flash forward to christmas morning. we go to my mom's around noon and hang out for a few hours. it was really nice. in the past we've just stopped in on our way to torrance and it's always cut so short. this year was a nice balance of my family and ben's.

then we headed to the starbuck's for the usual xmas fare of opening gifts and eating a turkey dinner. the food was delicious and, of course, i couldn't stop eating until it hurt. what's one last forkful of stuffing?? oh goodness...

i haven't quite figured out how to be unabashedly honest in the blog world... there are so many things that can't really be said without me worrying who is reading them. and, unfortunately, some things can't be said without hurting feelings, unintentionally of course. perhaps this is why the holiday summing-up will remain a bit brief.

for those of you worried about aforementioned brevity, i will fill you in via phone or something :)

also, as we wind down this old year of 2008, let us hope that my laptop will be easily fixed as it is semi-broken right now. unchargeable. and causing much stress. (i heart my laptop) which is the #1 reason i have not been writing. i have been crossing my fingers for the past week or so and, if the problem is the power adapter, i will be able to uncross my fingers and perform a dance unto the gods. i am hoping it will be miraculous.

so what is next in this world of mine...

tax season is a few days away. work will get even crazier and come to a head in april. then it will be quiet and normal again.

in march we will celebrate one year in our home! can you believe it? i surely cannot.

in september we get to celebrate zach and angie at their wedding (SO EXCITED).

ben will be 28. i will be 29.

good lord.

i hope 2009 is a year of immense writing on my part. it is a good habit to keep up. and i will try to not let another 10 days go by. sorry, ang :)


p.s. i am very lucky that my brother (in law) is marrying a girl i think is awesome and had SO much fun talking to last night :) i know we might always live in different states but i also know that we'll still be close, in different ways. i can't wait to eat pizza in september, hahaha. xoxo

a colts win, an office recarpeting, a holiday potluck and a hannukah dinner

that pretty much encapsulates the last 4 days.

thursday night the colts pulled off an impressive win
against jacksonville.
(impressive as in we thought all was lost until the very last few seconds of the game. seriously, i'm pretty sure that took off at least 6 months of my life.)
and with that miraculous win (christmas miracle, anyone??) comes a definite spot in the playoffs!!!

YAY!

on friday, we had our entire office recarpeted (at work, not home). it was quite a task with much furniture moving and chaos.
but it's done and will be ready for our office holiday party tomorrow :) i am excited.

last night was our wonderful holiday potluck with all of our bestest friends. although it was a bit chaotic at times (ie turkey juice leaking from the roasting pan all over the stove, countertop, floor, etc) it was very worth it. SO much fun. and ben and i were an amazing team, if i may say so myself.

i am so so so so lucky.

then tonight is hanukkah at dad and lesley's. i don't think we're ready for another social event...and i know for a fact I'D rather be in bed. like, as of now. but the holidays aren't about being tired. they're about family and friends and food. ok, ok, they also serve as a most important reminder to count our blessings.

how fortunate i am to be surrounded by such wonderful friends. how fortunate i am to be able to spend the holidays with all sorts of family members. how fortunate i am to have the husband i have...i have been falling in love with him all over again these past few days.

it seems santa has already given me everything i could have asked for this season :)

in a small blissful moment

a few minutes ago i was consumed with the logistics of being tired all day, almost asleep at 9pm, and still awake (wide, might i add) at 12:30am.

then i looked around. sleeping so soundly next to me is my most wonderful husby. and i wanted to whisper into his dreams, 'you are beyond compare.' it is all i can do at this very moment to not wrap my arms around him so tightly and kiss his cheek. (sigh)

and at ben's feet is tiggy who is being SUCH an adoraboy :) fast asleep, gray, and as chubby as ever. and beyond him, sleeping by the window is my sweet sammy boy. in this moment we are all so peaceful here, together. i wouldn't be surprised if i looked up and the roof was pealed back and i could see all of the stars.

it is occuring to me that i can deal with the foggy grind of any particular workday because this is what is waiting for me. my family. our home. the sounds we each make as we travel through our dreams...

short n sweet

1) i am thrilled with a colts win in this 15th week of the season
2) i am a bit surprised the lions scored 21 points
3) because i am feeling cheery, i thought i would write peyton a poem-letter...to spice things up a bit:

dearest peyton, my quarterback friend,
i'll cheer you on until the end,
i watch with excitement as you call each play,
and if they air your game here it makes my day,
just know that i'll be there, win or lose,
to root for you in your whites and blues,
so win win win for the rest of the season,
as to why i love football, you are the reason* :)

happy holidays, mr. manning.
your friend, emily b.

*to be fair, you are only part of the reason but rhyming with season is challenging...so...i know you understand..

Fish

as a crazy weekend ensues

i attempt to keep my bearings. what else is one to do amid such craziness? this craziness consists of much moving of big heavy furniture to and from our home. more from than to so that's always good. but it is e x h a u s t i n g. and i am ready for coziness in my big bed. as i type this tiggy is laying (lying? i am terrible at those verbs...) across my legs and keeping me warm. what would i do without my furry feline blanket??

but. tonight i get to see a bunch of my old friends from college. as in undergraduate college. as in, i haven't seen most of these people in about 6 years (well, except for brian but i haven't seen him in over a year and, well, that is just entirely too long). i am excited. my college friends are fun and funny and i am hoping that tonight is as fun as i think it's going to be.

since the last few days have been slightly less than wonderful i think i need a good list to put things into perspective. today's list is going to be comprised of 5 things that are giving me good reason to smile this very second:

1. tiggy sleeping so peacefully on my legs (duh. i will be smiling about this for days)
2. brian saying, "i think ben is fucking rad so..." doesn't get much better than that
3. the possibility of getting our xmas tree tomorrow :)!!!
4. turkey and all the fixins next saturday...great food + great friends = bliss
5. the chilly december weather we're having makes it impossible not to be in the holiday spirit! i even bought some mistletoe *wink*wink* and have been bundling up. so fun.

well, it was a bit hard to put that all together. because, i could probably easily make a much longer list of things i'm not really happy about at the moment. but. hence the desperate need for the list i compiled. i am happy. healthy. and so grateful for all of the people and things in my life at this moment. even through a grumpy haze it is easy to see that.

happy saturday.

i'm officially ready for all kinds of

holiday goodness!!
today i did some shopping for a very special husby's presents
and i am so excited.
i think my favorite part of any holiday
is thinking up things to get the people that i love.
thinking of the things that would make them most happy
to receive.
and, of course, at the top of that list is my most favorite husb.
(not that he has any competition)
we also (finally!) took our family picture for our holiday cards.
SO EXCITED!!
some girls, when they are young, want ponies.
some want to meet rainbow brite.
(and yes, some wish every year on their birthday to meet
rainbow brite.
every. year.)
but aside from that, i always wanted to have holiday photo cards.
mostly because they are my favorite cards to get in the mail.
and also because i happen to have a family that i LOVE showin off!
so that is in the works. i just ordered them so i'll be sending them off as soon as possible.
keep an eye out :)
also, next weekend we are going to get our tree!!
DOES IT GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT??
look, i'm a girl who LOVES christmas.
i love santa.
i love reindeer.
i love christmas lights.
i love ornaments.
i love wrapping paper.
and i loooove cuddling up with hot apple cider and exchanging gifts.
this year is a bit extra special because
it's the first year in our new home and i just know our tree
will look glorious.
one glitch: no fireplace.
no fireplace=no chimney.
see where i'm goin with this?
well, i've already been thinking about how to adapt the santa story
for our someday-children who will be smart and inquisitive
and wonder how the heck they're gonna get their presents
without a chimney for santa to slide down.
i haven't come up with anything really awesome yet so...

my assignment to you...

leave me a comment detailing how santa leaves gifts when he must forgo the chimney.

whoever leaves the best answer will be forever immortalized in my household as well as glamourously mentioned in a following blog.

GOOD LUCK!!

...and good night...

first, some predictable business

yay yay yay yay yay!!!!

well, it looks like my letter-writing/pep-talking is paying off.
NOT ONLY did the colts win.
they won by 32 points!!!!!!!
i KNEW they had it in them!!!
i KNEW there was a big win they were saving up inside of themselves!!!
i KNEW that my eye-rolling at their wimpy wins would cause them to play harder and beat the bengals!!!

now boys, let's keep 'em comin. and don't think you won't be fighting for a wild card spot in the playoffs. when i say 'touchdown' you say 'colts'.

TOUCHDOWN

COLTS

TOUCHDOWN

COLTS

:)

dear peyton,
thank you for being awesome this past sunday.
(i apologize that i didn't get to this letter sooner.)
didn't it feel good to have a solid lead?
hold on to that good feeling.
and don't let it go until february.

well, a girl can dream.
xo, em

rilke's book of hours is being digested and is pouring out the tips of my fingers

oh, father, where could you possibly be when it is so dark outside?
i can't find you anywhere...

every breath searches for you
the fine mist pushes its way across a room
there is nothing
i will always expect you around corners
and dark passageways
the way in which the heart never gives up
is amazing and a bit sad
if i could let you go for even a moment
the hole in my heart could rest

in the dark of autumn i beg to hear your voice
and want a small pardon from
the gods that guard your gate
while all of the world wants and is unsatisfied
let me beg shamelessly for one thing and
then be done with it

as god on high will hear my name let me speak
and then know only silent prayers
for my own father belongs to the heavens
as does his and as does his
i wish not to meet him in that solemn territory
but to feel his embrace as though time has
known nothing of us
and into a starry night as that of clouds
let my words be weapons unto the gods

amen

oh, this week of mine

this week was an odd one. full of ups and downs. so i guess not that odd after all...my week in a nutshell went like this:

mostly a lot of crap and some small glimmers of hope for smiling. the glimmers were talking to jen and suzanne (ah, sanity) and having the husby of the year at my side, letting me cry my eyes out over a bunch of nothing.

"bunch of nothing" (n): may include, but is not limited to, discovering the cats have terrible cases of fleas without giving me the slightest inkling via scratching/licking/biting/looking distressed/etc, advantage-ing said fleay cats and having them freak out and hate me for, well, only a short while i guess, sammy breaking one of my bird plates (my favorite one as it so happens, with a beautiful ee cummings quote stamped into it) because he just HAD to get into the kitchen window, washing and drying the worst rug ever (it takes about 5 or 6 rinse cycles just to get the soap out...and drying it?? forget it.), trying to handle my mom who is one of my favorite people in the world but when she gets long-term-whiny i lose my cool, dealing with my sister who lies and takes advantage of and doesn't even bat an eyelash..who doesn't mind chatting online all day at work and getting paid for it, hearing that my grandma fell down in the movie theater and bruised her face a bit (and yes she is fine thank goodness and in better spirits than ever), finding out we won't be getting any kind of tax refund next year...so disappointing, and having the kind of cramps that, had eve known such pain she would have also known that there is no apple that delicious.

but let me tell you, when i walked into the house tonight, hands full of delicious food from cpk, there were my boys, waiting for me with open arms and paws. i sank into ben's arms and could have fallen asleep that very minute. and the boys have been so cuddly and comforting. how could anyone ask for anything more or better?

looking back, it is easy to admit that this was just not my week. and i'm ok with that. i know that's how it goes. i DO know that next weekend we get to buy our christmas tree and decorate it (SO FUN). and the weekend after that all of my girls and their respectives are going to celebrate this beautiful holiday season with us (CANNOT WAIT). and the weekend after that is christmas-time or post-christmas-time (OH HAPPY HAPPY). and the weekend after that is january...

YIKES!!!

i need to slow down a bit...and breathe...

more letter writing

dear december,
so far you are just perfect.
the other night i looked out at the neighbor's trees
and they were covered in gauzy fog.
it was perfectly lovely.
and you have been crisp.
and cool.
very december-like.
very you-like.
and i have been daydreaming about wrapping presents.
decorating our tree.
being cozy.
celebrating with family and friends.
each day of you is fleeting.
yesterday it was august.
or september.
now you are here.
and passing so quickly.
i will enjoy every enjoyable minute.
thank you.

love, emily

to keep good on my promise..

i love you in navy blue shadows
laid out on the sidewalk
i love you in the pasty yellow glow
of the moon covered in haze
i love you in the confines of the atmosphere
gravitating toward me
feet firmly planted
i love you in the ghostly hues of
early morning fog
i love you against the cottony pink sunset
all contrast and dimension
all here and now
nothing saved for later or spent too soon
just all and every and any and more
i love you in olive sheets that wrinkle
under our bodies
i love you in obscure shades
like mauve, lilac, chartreuse, and cerulean
and it never ends
the colors of the world
are pale and dull against your face
your body's landscape makes everything else
seem so boring
and you wonder why each touch is electric current
or ecstasy
there is no comparison